Illiterate Alliteration

So a little earlier I was writing and email to a friend of mine about the new love of my life (my darling Kika) when I noticed my poor paragraph was just littered with alliteration. It went a little something like this: “I’m trying to teach my puppy to pee and poo outside, instead of leaving poodle puddles all over the house.”

It took me a while to realise how ridiculous (but strangely fascinating) that sounds and then (unfortunately) I had an idea. It was like this tiny little energy-efficient light bulb just went off in my very dim head and I thought: ”What could be more fun than compiling paragraph upon paragraph of insane, nonsensical alliteration?” Nothing came to mind, except maybe reading paragraph upon paragraph of insane, nonsensical alliteration, so it was decided. I’ll write a whole bunch of them, starting with B (starting with A would constitute assonance if my third grade English memory serves me correctly) and working my way down to Z. And that I think is quite a cool idea for a children’s book. Uh-oh, did I just give myself ANOTHER project? Oh well, here goes…

We had a bad day at the beach because the bluebottles burned big bloody blisters on our bottoms…

Um yeah, maybe not quite as much fun as I thought.

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